WHOM

For a long time off and on
I’d have these compensating dreams
where I was in New York and felt “Normal.”
Everyone’s agreed to let me
use that word whenever I feel like it.
It’s no accident
that the book I took home
and never returned
when last I dropped out
and repeatedly and obsessively pored over
was called “Abnormal Psychology.”
But! It didn’t have anything in it about vampires.

I come from a long line
of miserable people
who were always ready
for disaster to strike.
So many of them were quite charming
while drunk
and then incredibly angry
when the party was over.

I feel like I have to ask
someone’s permission
to be glad.
But damn, I don’t know whom to ask.

Matthew Freeman's seventh collection of poems, I Think I'd Rather Roar, was just published by Cerasus Poetry. The winner of several academic prizes, he holds an MFA from the University of Missouri-St Louis. Find him on Twitter! @FreemanPoet